Self Compassion

Sometimes in life we can get caught up in a story that things have gone very wrong, that it is all our own fault and we have no-one else to blame. That is a harsh thinking space to be in, and one that does not offer many solutions, tends to perpetuate feelings of isolation and creates a sort of self abandonment.

If your thinking has become stuck in this critical and uncomfortable groove it can help to talk to a trusted and caring friend, a loving family member or to call a helpline such as The Samaritans. Sometimes just sharing negative thoughts may release the power they are having over you.

You could also gently re-frame your thinking by offering yourself the same compassion and nurture you might to another person. You can do this by stepping back from the story of what has happened, just notice your feelings without judgement, and allow yourself to be a human being who can’t possibly get everything ‘right’ all of the time.

Accepting our own humanity allows for disappointments, mistakes, and all different types of decision making. In being kind and compassionate to yourself, you are more likely to start feeling better. It may also be that nicer thoughts will fill your mind and gentler feelings released into your body.

It can be useful in the active world in which we live; at work, at home or even navigating the internet, to additionally build up some emotional resilience. This can be achieved by practising mindfulness meditation, exercising in a group, taking good care of our physical health, learning to be assertive and understand our own unique needs, and developing friendships with like minded people.

Samaritans Contact Details:      Call Free: 116 123      Email: jo@samaritans.org

Karen’s Contact Details:

Email: karenraymondcounselling@gmail.com

Work Mobile: 07765 554045

 

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Addiction – Message of Hope

Addiction can be defined as the taking of substances and/or using certain behaviours even though there are negative consequences. There is a perception of a complete loss of control and a sense that choosing not to engage in the addictive behaviours is impossible.

This can lead to feelings of despair, hopelessness and helplessness.

David Bowie in the documentary  Five Years, (2013, Director: Francis Whately) says:

It was like being in a car where the steering had gone out of control and when you are going towards the edge of a cliff. I’d almost resigned myself to the fact that I am going over the edge, you know, I am not going to be able to stop.

However, David Bowie did stop using drugs:

The thing that was most exciting about it all is that I found that without drugs I was still writing very well, you know, and that was probably the most rejuvenating aspect of it all, is that you don’t need to get stoned out of your gourd to write well, you know. I think that was, you know, an incredibly important period for me.

It took quite a long time and I did see light at the end of the tunnel.

I have worked with many people in their recovery from addictions and perhaps that is why I was so moved by David Bowie’s candour and willingness to share his vulnerability in a way that conveyed such beautiful humility.

People can and do recover from addictions and lives can become rejuvenated. Light is always present, even if it is not visible. If you are in the midst of addictive behaviour take heart. There will be a moment when your desire to change will be synchronised with an opportunity to begin a recovery process. At this point the decision can be made and life will start getting better.

Karen’s Contact Details:

Email karenraymondcounselling@gmail.com

Work Mobile: 07765 554045

 

My Counselling Blog

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I have decided to create a counselling blog so that I can write about subjects that I find interesting in a field that I feel privileged to be a part of. I also want to use this space to offer some personal empowerment strategies. Some of which have been freely given to me over the years by teachers and therapists.

The blog will also give me an opportunity to share any special projects or personal development group work that I will be facilitating throughout the year. It will be a nice way of me being able to update the information that I want to share with colleagues and potential clients.

So, this is my first post and I look forward to using my creativity to connect with others.

Karen’s Contact Details:

Email: karenraymondcounselling@gmail.com

Work Mobile: 07765 554045