Sometimes in life we can get caught up in a story that things have gone very wrong, that it is all our own fault and we have no-one else to blame. That is a harsh thinking space to be in, and one that does not offer many solutions, tends to perpetuate feelings of isolation and creates a sort of self abandonment.

If your thinking has become stuck in this critical and uncomfortable groove it can help to talk to a trusted and caring friend, a loving family member or to call a helpline such as The Samaritans. Sometimes just sharing negative thoughts may release the power they are having over you.

You could also gently re-frame your thinking by offering yourself the same compassion and nurture you might to another person. You can do this by stepping back from the story of what has happened, just notice your feelings without judgement, and allow yourself to be a human being who can’t possibly get everything ‘right’ all of the time.

Accepting our own humanity allows for disappointments, mistakes, and all different types of decision making. In being kind and compassionate to yourself, you are more likely to start feeling better. It may also be that nicer thoughts will fill your mind and gentler feelings released into your body.

It can be useful in the active world in which we live; at work, at home or even navigating the internet, to additionally build up some emotional resilience. This can be achieved by practising mindfulness meditation, exercising in a group, taking good care of our physical health, learning to be assertive and understand our own unique needs, and developing friendships with like minded people.

Samaritans Contact Details:      Call Free: 116 123      Email:

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Work Mobile: 07765 554045